You know you're from Newfoundland when....
- - You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
- - You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- - The mosquitoes have landing lights.
- - You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
- - You have 10 favorite recipes for bottled moose.
- - Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
- - You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
- - You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- - Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- - You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- - You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- - The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local softball scores.
- - At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- - The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- - Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- - You think the start of salmon fishing season is a national holiday.
- - You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
- - You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- - You find -40C a little nippy.
- - The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
- - You can play road hockey on skates.
- - You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
- - The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
- - You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Newfie friends.
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