Newfie Jokes in Newfie Slang!

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Newfie Follower - Anudder Newfoundland Joke

A Newfie was hired on in a warehouse in Toronto. On his first day on the job he was approached by a Caper. "Hi Newf" the Caper said, want me to show you how to get the day off? The Newf was all ears.
"Sure," he said.

With that the Caper pushed a ladder against the wall and climbed to the top, grabbed a rafter, shimmied to the middle of the room and hung there till the foreman came along.

The foreman spotted the guy hanging from the ceiling and asked what he was doing. The Caper replied "hey I'm a light bulb, you need me".
The foreman shook his head and shouted. "Come down from there and go home for the day. Get a good rest and come back tomorrow".
The Caper climbed down and headed for the door.
The Newfie followed behind him.

"Hey" the foreman shouted, "Where do you think you're going Newf?"
The Newf replied, "I ain't working in the dark".

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Saturday, February 23, 2008

Dear Garge Letter - Anudder NEWFIE Joke Fer Yas!

A young Newfoundland girl, on a year’s training course in South Africa, recently received a "Dear Garge" letter from her boyfriend back home in St. John's. It read as follows:

Dear Mary,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.


Upset, Mary asked her colleagues for any snapshots they could spare of their boyfriends, brothers, ex-boyfriends, uncles, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of John, Mary included all the other pictures she had collected from her buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope...along with this note:

Dear Garge,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care,

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Lunch Box - Funny Newf Joke

There once was three people, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a newfie. they were construction people and were working on a building 80m high. They always had lunch on top of the building. So the Italian opens up his lunch and gets a tuna sandwich. He says, " Oh I hate tuna sandwiches, If I get a tuna sandwich again tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this building" Then the French opens up his lunch and gets a bologna sandwich. He says "If I get a bologna sandwich again, I'm going to jump off this building" Then the newfie opens up his lunch and gets a ham sandwich. He says " If I gets another ham sandwich, I'm wit you two." So the next day, the Italian gets a tuna sandwich and jumps off the building. The French gets a bologna sandwich and the newfie gets a ham sandwich and they both jump off the building. Later on, at there funeral the French and Italians wife's were crying and say" If they didn't like that kind of sandwich, they could have told us, but the Newfieswife wasn't crying, she was laughing . The Italian and French's wife ask the Newfies wife why she isn't sad at all. She says, "Why, he makes his own!

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Saturday, February 9, 2008

Goofy Newfie’s BIG Nickel - Newfie Joke!

A family moved from St. John’s, Newfoundland to Toronto. The little boy in the family began attending the local school and was soon the butt of joe-ks for kids who picked on him for being a “goofy Newfie.”

One boy would show him a nickel and a dime, and ask him if he wanted the BIG nickel, or the little dime. The little boy would always take the BIG nickel, to the mirth of the other kids.

A teacher watched this happen a couple of times, and then, in exasperation, took the little boy aside. “Surely,” she said, “you know the difference in value between a nickel and a dime. Why do you let them do that to you?”

“Sure I know the difference,” the boy said. “But if I ever take that dime, they’re going to stop giving me nickels.”

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