Newfie Jokes in Newfie Slang!

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

One Smart Newfie Logger - Har, Har - Funny!

Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job.

He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an 'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone. But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree.

"See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains."
The Newfie promptly answers, "It's a Sitka spruce and contains 383 board feet of lumber."

The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger door window. and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class.
"It's a Douglas fir and has 690 board feet," says the Newfie.

Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has answered quickly and got the answers right without even using a calculator! One more test. They drive a little farther down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road through his driver side window.
"And what about that one?"
Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, "A cedar, 242 board feet."

The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office. He's a little ticked off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he. As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks the Newfie to step outside.

He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there. I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree."
The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot! How does he know which is the front of the tree?"

When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk. He runs back to the foreman and hands him the chalk.
"That is the front of the tree," the Newfie states.

The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the world do you know that's the front of the tree?"

The Newfie looks down at this feet, while moving the toe of his left boot clockwise in the gravel, replies, "Cuz someone took a crap behind it."

He got the job...

... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Showing A Horse - LOL - This One's Pretty Funny

There was a guy he walked into this bar. On the door it read "If you can make my horse laugh then I will give you $50".

So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went out in the back alley and came back and the horse was laughing. So the bar tender said a deal is a deal and gave him his $50.

Then about three months later the same guy came back into this bar and say a sign on the door it read: If you can make my horse cry then I will give you $50.

So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went in to the back alley and made the horse cry. He came back in and the bar tender said a deal is a deal but first tell me how you hade my horse laugh and cry. He said to make him laugh I told him mine is bigger than his. To make him cry I showed him!

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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Couple of good newfie jokes

Its ben' a while since I've had a chance to post some good Newfoundland jokes on here.

Ere's a couple of real funny ones to make up fer lost time!

Newfies Make Good Astronauts, eh!

Q: Why do Newfies make good astronauts?

A: They took up space in school.

Did you hear about the Newfie who was ecstatic
that he finished a jigsaw puzzle in 87 days?

On the box it said three to five years.

Another hilarious funny jokes website:
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