Newfie Jokes in Newfie Slang!

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

British Airways flight for London Newfie Joke

British Airways flight for London

[The following messages were announced over the public address system at Toronto's Pearson International Airport...]

“British Airways flight for London leaves from Gate 2 at 12:00 hours.”

“Lufthansa flight for Frankfurt leaves from Gate 7 at 14:00 hours.”

“Air Canada flight for St. John's, Newfoundland, leaves when the small hand is on the 4 and the big hand is on the 12.”

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

"Only Used Once" - Newfoundland Revolver lol

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Newfoundland Flag Verse

Click da pitcher so ye can read it, by's.

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Monday, March 19, 2007

The Irishman, the Englishman, and the Newfie

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Newfie had decided to go on a hunting trip and were staying in a cabin in the woods. They decided to go hunting one at a time, while the other two stayed and guarded the cabin. The Irishman goes out first and comes back with a fox. He says, very simply, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I catch fox.". Then the Englishman goes out and comes back with a rabbit. He says, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I catch rabbit.". Then it was the Newfie's turn. He goes out and comes back limping and badly beaten up. He says, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I get hit by train."

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Friday, March 16, 2007

Newfie Fridge - Newfoundland Labrador

Look at dat' by's!!!

It's a genuine

Newfie Fridge!!!

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Newfie Jedi

You might be a Newfie Jedi if.....


  • 1.You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be witt ya by*'."

  • 2. Your Jedi robe is made of seal skin.

  • 3. You have ever used your light saber to quarter a moose.

  • 4. Both wings of your X-Wing are done over with sheet metal and rivets and are covered with polybond.

  • 5. You have ever eaten bottled Ewok.

  • 6. You have ever used a land-speeder to get away from wildlife officers.

  • 7. The best part of spending time on Dagobah is the great weather.

  • 8. Even CP3O cannot understand what you are saying.

  • 9. You have used Jedi mind tricks to help you drag off someone from the Sundance (Bar on George Street) and Breezway (University Bar).

  • 10. You have ever used the force to convince a Human Resources Canada officer to give you unemployment insurance checks.

  • 11. Your father has ever said to you, "Come on by' son, come on over 'ere to the dark side and have a Black Horse (Newfoundland brewed beer) witt yer old man."

  • 12. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to scare off mosquitoes on May 24 weekend.

  • 13. You have ever used the Millennium Falcon to smuggle booze and cigarettes from St. Pierre (Island belonging to France just of southern nf coast).

  • 14. You have a Newfoundland dog painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

  • 15. You think Andy Wells (St. John's mayor) and Brian Tobin (nf premier) are part of the dark side of the force.

  • 16. You have ever fantasized about Danielle House wearing her hair like Princess Leia.+

  • 17. You have a trailer hitch on the back of your land speeder for hauling your trailer to gravel pits.

  • 18. Chewbacca is the lead of your dog sled team.

  • 19. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with snowmobile skis.

  • 20. You were the only person drinking Newfie Screech during the cantina scene.

  • 21. If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... tell me what the hell your mother's getting on with by'?!"
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    Tuesday, March 13, 2007

    Run Buddy!!!!!... Run For Your Life!!!

    Look at dis' HUMUNGOUS moose!!!!

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    Sunday, March 11, 2007

    Biblical Quotations

    Har har! This one's funny!

    Biblical quotations

    A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners in Grand Bank. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote

    "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

    When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message,

    "Genesis 3:10."
    Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

    Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."

    Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."

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    When a Newf Wins The Lotto

    A frind' a mine sent me dis pic last night. It's called "When A Newfie Wins The Lotto"...I can REALLY imagine a Newf doin' sumptin' like dat'!!

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    Saturday, March 10, 2007


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    Newfie and Viagra

    A Newfoundland woman of a certain age, visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's sex drive.

    "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.

    "Oh, no, doctor, I couldn't do dat," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin.

    "Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

    It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress.

    The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh Jaysus Mary and Joseph, doctor, twas horrid. Just terrible!"

    "Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

    "Well, I did like you said and slipped it into his coffee, lard. De effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging something fierce! With one swoop of his arm he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and then, Lard tunder and Jaysus, didn't he take me right then and there, making wild,mad passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!"

    "Why so terrible?", asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex was not good?"

    "No, no, no, Doctor. The sex was fine. Indeed, 'twas the best sex I had in 25 years. But, oh me son, I'll never be able to show me face in Tim Horton's ever again!".........

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