Funny Newfie Cab Driver Joke and Picture

A newfie in a Gullivers taxi cab wanted to ask the taxi driver something and tapped him on da shoulder. The driver yelled, lost control of da' cab and stopped just in time.

The taxi driver said, "Don't ever dat again by'. You scared the livin' daylights outta me by'."

The passenger apologized and said he as sorry, he didn't expect da driver to be scared so much.

The taxi driver replied, "Not really yer fault by', dis' is my first day ever drivin' - I was a hearse driver for the past 25 years."

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Funny Homer Simpson Sayings and Funny Simpsons Picture!

Funny Homer Simpson Quotes!

• All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
• But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
• 'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?
• I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.
• Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
• Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
• Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
• Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
• Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
• I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
• Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
• When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

Like these funny jokes? 

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Newfoundland Wife Duties

Funny Homer Simpson Picture

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Two Newfies in Home Hardware - Funny Newfie Joke

Another Funny Newfie Joke

Two Newfoundlanders, one of them old and and the other young, push their shopping carts around Home Hardware and bang into each other.

The older one says to the younger, "I'm very sorry. I was distracted while looking for the wife, wans't paying attention."

The young Newfie says, "I'm looking for mine too! That's a coincidence!"

The older Newfoundlander says, "Maybe I can help you, and you help me. What does she look like?"

 "My wife is 24 years old, blue eyes, tall, with blonde hair, big bo*bs , long legs... How does your wife look?" .

The older says, "You don't want to know... I'll help you look for yours!"

Like this FUNNY Newfie Joke? Check out this one...

http://newfiejoke.blogspot.com/2007/03/newfie-jedi.html

Funny Polar Bear Picture

Polar Bears Camping Funny Picture!

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Worlds Funniest Pictures  by Newfie Jokes

Funny Newfie Joke - Newfie Fishing Joke! Funny Picture - Trippy fingers

Three Newfies are fishing by a river with fishing poles with the lines casting away. A Newfie Game Warden sneaks up, and says, "Hey by', You's got fishing licenses?"
"Got none atall'," said the first Newfie.
"Well, if your gonna go fishing, you needs fisherman licenses by's," exclaimed the Game Warden.
"But Mr. officer," said the second Newfie, "we weren't fishing. We gots magnets near the end of our fishing lines and we're gettin' stuff under da' brook."
The Game Warden pulled on the lines... there were big ol' magnets righ ton the end of each line.
"Yes by's, knows der's no laws against it," exclaimed the Newfie Game Warden. "Get all the stuff ya wants by's." Then he just left.
When they knew the Game Warden was completely gone, the 3 Newfies started laughing like crazy. "He's a real stun' Fish Coppper," one said to the rest, "he never knew that der' are steelheads in dis' brook?"

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Worlds Funniest Pictures  by Newfie Jokes

Newfoundland Wife Duties - Funny Newfie Joke!

Newfoundland Wife Duties - Funny Newfie Joke!

Three men from Ontario were sitting together one day bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Quebec and had told her that she was going to have to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Manitoba. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from Newfoundland. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything,but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little bit out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

If a Man Speaks in the Forest
and there is no Woman
there to Hear...
Is He Still Wrong?
FUNNY Sign! LOL! 

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Worlds Funniest Pictures  by Newfie Jokes