Newfie Jokes in Newfie Slang!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Genie, Newfie, Quebecer , and Torontonian - Funny Newfie Joke!!
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Graham Matthews
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12:30 PM
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Labels: genie, humor, newfie joke, quebec, Toronto
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Funny Moose Picture and Newfie Patch Joke!
Two newfs are driving, both enjoying a bottle of black horse, when a cop pulls them over. The newf in the passenger seat says "he's got us now by, what are we gonna do?".
The driver assures the passenger that they have nothing to worry about and tells him to follow his lead and say nothing.
So, the driver peals the lable off the bottle of beer, licks the back of the lable, sticks it to his forehead, and puts the bottle under his seat; the passenger follows suit. The police officer approaches the drivers window and asks for his licence and registration.
As the driver gives the officer his info the officer asks whether he or the passenger had been drinking at all that night, and the driver points to his forehead and responds, "Oh no sir, we's on da patch ya see!".
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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6:17 PM
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Labels: funny joke, funny picture, humor, moose, newfie joke, newfoundland
Monday, November 7, 2011
Garge and his Hunting Partner - Newfie Moose Hunting Joke
A group of Newfies went moose hunting and split up into paires for the day. That night, one of the hunters, Garge, returned alone, staggering under the weight of a large bull moose.
The others asked "Where's Ted?"
"Ted had a stroke or some thing and died. I left him a couple of miles back up the trail."
"You left Ted laying out there and carried the moose back?!!"
"It was a tough call," nodded Garge, "but I figured no one is going to steal Ted."
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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4:15 AM
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Labels: humor, moose hunting, newfie joke
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Smile! - Funny Newfie Joke!
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.
“Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”
The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”
“Ah,” says the coroner. “This is the most unusual one. Jethro, 30, from Newfoundland, struck by lightning.”
“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.
“Thought he was having his picture taken.”
... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever
Monday, March 3, 2008
Cheer UP!!! -- LoL - This is Funny!
[Two old Newfie friends meet at the mall…]
NEWF: “Why do you look so sad?”
Jack: “I’ve just come from the doctor. I not only have heart trouble, but I also have arthritis, high blood pressure, diabetes and a brain tumor. Any day now, I’m likely to die.”
NEWF: “It could be worse.”
Jack: “That’s what you think. My bank tells me they are going to foreclose on my mortgage. I’m bankrupt – broke.”
NEWF: “It could be worse.”
Jack: “Not only that, but my wife is suing me for divorce and intends to take the children.”
NEWF: “Well, it could be worse.”
Jack: “How could it be worse – there’s no way it could be worse…”
NEWF: “It could be me!”
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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11:35 AM
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Labels: funny, humor, joke, newf, newfie, newfie joke, newfiejokes, newfoundland
Monday, January 21, 2008
Mouse Calibration - This is Hilarious!
MOUSE CALIBRATION
This really works.
Is your mouse calibrated?
You should do this every few days. More often if you spend a lot of time on the computer. I was shocked to see that this works!
To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the Y below. Then drag the Y toward the g If it doesn't work, you might want to clean your mouse.
Y ou dumb ass. You'll believe g anythin g
I'M SURE YOU WILL SEND THIS ALONG TO YOUR FRIENDS
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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2:31 PM
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Labels: funny, funny joke, funny picture, humor, joke, mouse, mouse calibration
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Signs You Had Too Much Coffee - PART 2 - Joke
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Graham Matthews
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5:52 PM
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Labels: coffee, coffee beans, decaffeinated, f, funny, funny joke, humor, maxwell house, mug, newfie joke, newfie picture, treadmill
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
FUNNY Booze/Beer WARNING Labels
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
Remember by's, if ya drinks, DON'T DRIVE. Take a cab or git one of these designated drivers tingmajiggers. 'Ave a safe and happy Christmas!
... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever
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Graham Matthews
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6:34 PM
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Labels: alcohol, beer cooler, booze, cabbie, christmas, humor, joke, labels, laugh, newfie, newfie joke, newfie picture, newfiejokes, newfoundland, warning
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Newfie Hero - Newfie Pirate Joke
Long ago lived a Newfie seaman named Captain Bravo who sailed with the English navy. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.''
All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply.
Captain Bravo turned to the first mate, ''Get me my brown pants.''
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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4:18 PM
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Labels: captain, humor, newfie, newfiejokes, newfoundland, pirate
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Cold Winter - Plus a Newfie Joke - Exhunters
A couple of Newfie hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing – his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out a cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is silence, then a gun shot is heard.
The guy’s voice comes back on the line.
He says, “Okay, now what?”
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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10:39 AM
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Labels: cold, exhunters, free, humor, newfie joke, newfiejokes, newfoundland, snow, winter
Friday, December 14, 2007
For Newfie Coffee Addicts - Signs you had TOO Much Coffee!
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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4:40 AM
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Labels: coffee, coffee beans, coffeepot, funny, funny joke, humor, juan valdez, maxwell house, newfie joke, too much coffee
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Funny Polar Bear Picture and Anudder Joke Fer Ya's!
Har Har Har!! It wasn't the polar bear's fault that he slipped. They should have had a double sided sign! lol
A Newfie ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please, I could never eat twelve pieces," replied the Newfie.
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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11:47 AM
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Labels: funny joke, funny pic, funny picture, goofy newfie, hilarious, humor, ice, newfie joke, newfie picture, polar bear
Friday, December 7, 2007
"You know you're from Newfoundland when..." JOKE!
You know you're from Newfoundland when....
- - You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
- - You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- - The mosquitoes have landing lights.
- - You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
- - You have 10 favorite recipes for bottled moose.
- - Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
- - You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
- - You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- - Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- - You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- - You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- - The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local softball scores.
- - At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- - The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- - Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- - You think the start of salmon fishing season is a national holiday.
- - You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
- - You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- - You find -40C a little nippy.
- - The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
- - You can play road hockey on skates.
- - You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
- - The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
- - You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Newfie friends.
I have two brand new blogs with my ART! Please support me by visiting and leaving a comment or two. Thanks!
Extraordinary Freestyle and Surreal Art
Freestyle ART - Doodles and Scribbles
Posted by
Graham Matthews
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1:16 PM
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Labels: art, funny, funny joke, funny pic, graham matthews, humor, newfiejokes, newfoundland
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Newfie English Dictionary
Newfie English Dictionary
ADIKEY - Eskimo hooded outer garment or blouse made of cloth or animal skin.
ANGISHORE - A man regarded as too lazy too fish; a worthless fellow, a sluggard,
a rascal; idle mischievous child or person.
APSY - Thick with aspen trees; in place-names.
BACK-BURN - Amount carried on shoulders, especially a load of wood.
BACK-LOAD - An exceptionally large amount.
BALLICATTER - Ice formed by the action in winter of spray and waves along the
shore-line, making a fringe or band on the landward side; a floating pan of ice;
frozen moisture around the nose and mouth.
BANKER - A vessel engaged in cod-fishing on the Newfoundland offshore grounds,
especially the Grand Banks.
BARK - To immerse a fish-net or sail in the liquid formed by boiling the bark
and buds of a conifer (used as a preservative).
BARVEL - Leather, canvas or oil-skin apron reaching from the breast to the
knees, worn when catching fish or processing the catch ashore; a home-made
domestic apron.
BATCH, BRUSH, BROOM or PADDY'S SCAD - Snowfall just before or after St.
Patrick's Day.
BATTY - A sum of money; a boat-load of fish.
BEATER - A harp seal just past the white-coat stage and migrating north from the
breeding grounds on the ice floes off Newfoundland.
BEDLAMER - An immature seal, especially a harp seal, approaching breeding age.
(Also, a youth approaching manhood.)
BERRY OCKY - Home-made drink of wild berries, especially partridgeberries, jam
and water.
BERTH - A place as seal-hunter on a vessel with a share in the profits of the
voyage.
BITTING STICK - Piece of wood used to tighten rope holding a load of wood in
place on a sled (used like a tourniquet).
BLOW THE CHRISTMAS PUDDING - to celebrate with gunfire the lifting of the
Christmas pudding out of the pot.
BOG - Peat, especially removed from marsh-land and used to improve soils.
BOG MEADOW - An open stretch of grassy marshland, often used to produce hay.
BOGGAN - Crossbar behind horse to which traces and plough are attached.
BOIL-UP - A brew of tea, and sometimes a snack, taken during a rest from work in
the country or on a vessel.
BRANDIES or BRANDISHES - Group of sunken rocks over which the sea breaks.
BRESNA or BRISHNEY - A bundle of firewood.
BRISHNEY or BRESNA - A bundle of firewood.
BROOM, PADDY'S SCAD, BRUSH or BATCH - Snowfall just before or after St.
Patrick's Day.
BRUSH, BROOM, PADDY'S SCAD or BATCH - Snowfall just before or after St.
Patrick's Day.
BULL-BIRD - Common dovekie (hunted for food).
BUNG-YOUR-EYE - Strong alcholic beverage.
BY THE REEVES - Of heavy rain or snow; in great swirls and drifts: "It's snowing
by the reeves."
CALLIBOGUS - A drink made by mixing spruce beer, rum or other liquor and
molasses.
CANDLEMAS CAKE - Type of sweetened bread baked for party on February 2 or
Candlemas Day; or the party itself.
CAPER – A ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement; gay or
light-hearted recreational activity for diversion or amusement.
CARD - In knitting a net, a thin wooden oblong, four or more inches long and of
varying width, used as a guide to the size of mesh required.
CARK - Protruding metal point on a sled to hold logs in place.
CAST-NET - An open-mouthed, circular, and weighted net thrown by hand among
schooling caplin and drawn ashore or to the boat as the net is closed on the
catch.
CAT or CAT-STICK - A game similar to hurley, played with sticks on the ice. You
try to keep the ball out of a hole cut in the ice or frozen ground.
CATAMARAN - Sled with stout wooden runners curved up in front and with a
vertical stick, or horn, at each corner, hauled in the winter by dogs, horse, or
man, used especially for carting wood and other heavy loads, but also for
pleasure; also, a horse drawn sleigh for winter use, passengers facing the side
of the sleigh.
CAUBEEN - A cap or hat, but in a fish plant refers to the paper head-dress worn
by workers.
CAUDLER - A person who muddles up any activity.
CHOP (i.e. “To have one’s chop in”) - To have cut one's allotted quantity of
wood.
CLEAR AIRS, DADYEENS, WHEY-BELLIES, YELLOW-BELLIES or DOONES - Irish factions in
St. John's in the early 1800s. Respectively from Cork, Tipperary, Waterford,
Wexford, and Kilkenny. The first three allied against the second two.
CLUMPER - A small ice-berg or pan of ice; a slab of ice forced up along the
shoreline; a hummock of ice in an ice-field; a small chunk of ice or snow.
CONNOR - Blue perch, a bottom-feeding fish of inshore waters, especially common
around wharves and stages.
COSSOCK - Footwear made by cutting the legs off a pair of old rubber boots at
the ankle.
CUDDY - A cabin at bow or stern of a small vessel or large boat for
accommodation and provisions; in a small undecked fishing boat, a small enclosed
space forward or aft.
CUFF - A thick, usually fingerless mitten made of wool, swanskin, or leather,
worn in winter. Also, a fisherman's heavy mitten, often with fingers cut off,
used to protect the hand in hauling lines or splitting fish.
DADYEENS, CLEAR AIRS, WHEY-BELLIES, YELLOW-BELLIES or DOONES - Irish factions in
St. John's in the early 1800s. Respectively from Cork, Tipperary, Waterford,
Wexford, and Kilkenny. The first three allied against the second two.
DAWN - A drink of rum.
DEAD-EYE - Sore or callus on hand.
DEAD MAN'S SHARE - a small portion.
DIET - Board or keep for fishing servant, shareman, or member of a sealing crew.
DIETER - One who receives winter board and accomodation against the promise of
cash or service in the next fishing season, or one engaged in return for board,
in the preparatory work of the fishing season.
DIPPER - Harp seal in its first year, when it takes to the water.
DIPPING TIME - Period in March-April when young seals take to the water.
DOGWOOD - Mountain ash.
DOGBERRY - Mountain ash; berries of the Dogwood tree.
DOONES, YELLOW-BELLIES, WHEY-BELLIES, CLEAR AIRS or DADYEENS - Irish factions in
St. John's in the early 1800s. Respectively from Cork, Tipperary, Waterford,
Wexford, and Kilkenny. The first three allied against the second two.
DORY - A small, flat-bottomed boat with flaring sides and a sharp bow and stern,
providing both stability in the water an easy stowage in stacks on deck; used
especially in fishing with hand-lines and trawls; frequently in designations of
various sizes of vessel employing such craft: "four-dory vessel". Also, DORY
BANKER, DORY BUFF (yellow), DORY HAT (waterproof with brim same size all
around), DORY HOOK (used to hoist a dory), DORY PIGGIN (bailer), DORY PIN (holds
oars in place), DORY STRAP (rope handles)
DOUBLE-SLED - Heavy sled drawn by two horses; a sled in two linked sections used
to haul wood.
DREW - In knitting a fish-net, a certain number of meshes formed in a row.
EASTER - Eastern, frequently in place names; from the East
ESKIMO DUCK - American common eider.
FADDLE - A bundle of firewood.
FEETING or FOOTING - The footprints or tracks of animals.
FIGGY PUDDING - plum pudding (preparation began Christmas Eve for tomorrow's
dinner).
FLAG - The pennant of a sealing vessel used to mark the ownership and position
on the ice of a pile of seal pelts.
FLICER or FLICER-STICK - The spring of a rabbit snare. Also BENDER.
FLIPPER PIE - The forelimb of a seal used to propel the animal in the water or
on the ice, especially as prepared for eating.
FLOWERS - Rock that is awash. Rocks or ledges over which the sea breaks.
FLUMMY - A kind of bread made by hunters and trappers: a dough of flour, bread
soda, and water wrapped on a stick and toasted over an open fire.
FOOTING or FEETING - The footprints or tracks of animals.
FREELY - Local name in Cape Freels area for a syrupy drink made from bakeapple
berries.
FURRIER - A fur-hunter or trapper.
FURRIERY - The activity of hunting and trapping fur-animals; also FURRING.
GAFF - A stout pole, 5 - 8 feet long with an iron hook and spike fastened to one
end, used to assist a sealer on the ice and to kill seals.
GAMMETT - An instance of noise-making; a period of carrying-on.
GARAGEE - Boisterous, rough-and-tumble behaviour; fun, devilment.
GASHER - A small fishing boat with sharp prow and stern.
GATCHER - A person who behaves in a swaggering manner; show-off.
GAWMOGUE - A silly, mischievous person.
GILLCAP or GILLCUP - Buttercup; phrase "yellow as a gillcap".
GINNY - Seal believed to act as a sentinel for the herd; also JINNY, JENNY.
GLAVAUN - Continuous complaining; one who grumbles.
GLITTER or SILVER THAW - A condition of the weather in which freezing rain
deposits a coating of ice n exposed objects. (especially when the sun comes out
later)
GO INTO AN IRISH SULK - to become morose especially after an interlude of
high-spirited gaiety.
GO OUT IN THE JANNIES - to dress in the costume of a janny.
GOMMEL - Epithet for a stupid person, often 'foolish gommel'.
GOOLOS - Home or base in playing certain games; such a game.
GROG - A quantity, a sup; a shot of liquor.
GROWLER - Piece of floating ice hazardous to vessels because of its instability
or indeterminate size; a piece off an iceberg.
HAG or OLD HAG - The nightmare, especially one in which the victim feels someone
sitting on their chest.
HEAVE OUT - Of a vessel, to capsize or roll over.
HOG'S NOSE - A waterspout, a freak whirlwind at sea.
HOIST-YOUR-SAILS-AND-RUN - Cry by player in children's game of hide and seek
before going to find the other players hiding; or the game itself.
INFLAMMATION - Pneumonia.
IRISH CHAIN - A decorative pattern used in making quilts or in knitting.
IRISH LORDS - Type of sea-bird.
IRISH TOOTHACHE - Pregnancy.
IRON SPRUCE - Red spruce.
JACK - A bluff, two-masted decked vessel, schooner-rigged and varying from 5 to
20 tons used for various fisheries purposes; also JACK-BOAT
JACKABAUN - A mischievous, untrustworthy person.
JACKASS - Heavy rough boats; A two-masted vessel rigged for the seal hunt with
square, rather than fore-and-aft, sails on the mainmast.
JANNY - An elaborately costumed and disguised person who participates in various
group activities at Christmas.
JANNYING - The practice of visiting houses disguised as a mummer at Christmas.
JANNY-NIGHT - Any night during Christmas on whch jannies go around visiting at
people's houses.
JENNY - Seal believed to act as a sentinel for the herd; also GINNY, JINNY.
JINNY - Seal believed to act as a sentinel for the herd; also GINNY, JENNY.
JOHNNY MAGOREY - Subject of various nonsense verses with sudden, unexpected
ending for the amusement of small children.
JOHNNY MILLER - Ring-dance and song.
JULY DRIVE - In the Great War, the July offensive opening the first battle of
the Somme in 1916; especially the engagement of the Newfoundland Regiment at
Beaumont Hamel.
JUNIPER - Larch or tamarack.
KNIT - To make or repair a net; to knot twine into meshes to form a fish-net.
KNIT OUT - To empty a needleful of twine when making a fish-net.
KNITTING NEEDLE - Implement used to hold a quantity of twine and used to knot
meshes in a fish-net.
LABRADOR TEA - A low-growing evergreen of the genus Ledum; An infusion of the
bruised leaves of the Labrador tea plant used as a substitute for tea.
LALLIK - A children's chasing game, tag; the person who is "it" in this game.
LANCE - A small elongate fish used as bait; sand eel.
LEADER - A length of net stretching from the shore to a cod-trap to guide fish
into the entrance.
LEAKY (PAW) - Inflammation of hand or wrist caused by exposure to salt water.
LEAN-IN - A cow-shed, shelter for cows.
LINNET - Twine for knitting fish-nets; the sections of netting forming the
several parts of such nets; the complete net, seine, trap or all these
collectively.
LINNET EDGE - In a cod-trap, the part of a section of netting attached to a line
or rope forming the frame of the device.
LINNET POLE - A stick from which a fish-net is suspended to dry.
LIVYER - a permanent settler of coastal Newfoundland (as opposed to a migratory
fisherman from England); a settler on the coast of Labrador (as opposed to
migratory summer fisherman from Newfoundland).
LOG-PATH - A man's customary path or right-of-way to an area to cut and haul
wood.
LOGY - Of the weather, heavy (with moisture); oppressively hot.
LOLLY - Soft ice forming in water; loose ice or snow floating in water.
LOW-MINDED - Depression.
LUMP - Lumpfish (harvested for their roe, a cheap caviar).
MAN-CAT - Small sled used in winter for transporting wood and hauled by a man.
MAUZY - Damp and warm, muggy, close, foggy, sometimes with light rain.
MERRY DANCERS - northern lights, aurora borealis (extra brilliant light is a
sign of good weather).
MISK, MISKY - Light rain or mist; vapour rising from the sea after a cold night.
Misty.
MOT - Mark in the game of Quoits. Shallow depression in the ground providing a
target in the game of marbles.
MUG-UP - A cup or mug of tea and a snack taken between any of the main meals,
especially in a pause from work.
MUMMER - An elaborately costumed and disguised person who participates in
various group activities at Christmas.
MUMMERING - The practice of visiting houses disguised as a mummer at Christmas.
NAN, NANNY - Sheep; or a call to sheep.
OLD CHRISTMAS DAY or OLD TWELFTH DAY - As reckoned by the old style. On this day
the Christmas tree is taken down and Christmas is over.
OLD HAG or HAG - The nightmare, especially one in which the victim feels someone
sitting on their chest.
OLD HARRY - Reef or rock hazardous to vessels.
OLD SCRIPTURE CAKE - Christmas cake made from recipe drawn from biblical texts
(1 cup Judges 5:25 milk, 2 cups Jeremiah 6:20 sugar…)
OLD TWELFTH DAY or OLD CHRISTMAS DAY - As reckoned by the old style. On this day
the Christmas tree is taken down and Christmas is over.
OLD YEAR - New Year's Eve.
OMADHAUN - A stupid, idle, foolish fellow; fool.
OMALOOR - A clumsy, stupid, simple-minded fellow.
PADDY'S SCAD, BROOM, BRUSH or BATCH - Snowfall just before or after St.
Patrick's Day.
PANCAKE DAY or PANCAKE NIGHT - Shrove Tuesday, the last day before Lent.
Pancakes are prepared mixing in a button, thread, nail, coin, and ring
foretelling respectively bachelorhood, seamstress/tailor, carpenter or first to
die, coming into money, and marriage.
PATRICK - A fisherman, especially an Irish fisheries 'servant'.
PATRICK'S DAY/NIGHT - March 17th.
PATRICK'S POT - A windfall.
PHILANDY - To caper, jump about.
PIG-FISH, PLUG-EYE or SCULPIN - A very ugly scavenger fish.
PINNACLE - A peak of ice projecting from an iceberg or rafted up in an ice-floe;
Of floating ice, to become forced upwards by the pressure of the flow.
PINNACLE TEA - Tea brewed at sea from melted fragments of glacial ice.
PITCHER - One of the timbers or ribs of a boat, set in raked or slanted fashion
in the frame of the forward and after sections of the craft.
PITCHER PLANT - Bronze or green perennial of boggy areas with a single tall
capsuled stem growing out of a cluster of curved pitcher-shaped leaves which
trap water and insects; the floral emblem of Newfoundland.
PISS-A-BED or PISS T'BED - Dandelion
PITNAGEN or TEA-FLOWER - Purple-stemmed aster (dried roots sometimes used with
dried potato peels to make an ersatz tobacco).
PLUG-EYE, PIG-FISH or SCULPIN - A very ugly scavenger fish.
POODLER - Immature coal-fish, ocean pout.
POOK - A cock of hay.
PRICKLY or SPANTICKLE - Any of a variety of sticklebacks (tiny freshwater fish).
PUNT - An undecked boat up to 25 feet in length, round-bottomed, and keeled,
driven by oars, sail or engine and used variously in the inshore or coastal
fishery.
PUP - A blister, sore, or inflammation common among fishermen whose skin is
often in contact with salt-water.
RAGGEDY-JACKET - Young harp seal undergoing change from 'white-coat' to 'bedlamer'
stage.
RANGER - The common seal, especially in its third year.
SALLY - Willow tree, willow brach; Sweet gale
SALLY SUCKERS, SALLY SOURS, SALLY CIVES or SALLY SAUCERS - A weed with sour
leaves chewed by children; sheep sorrel.
SALLYWOOD - Mountain Holly
SCAD - Sudden and brief shower of rain or snow.
SCREECHER - a howling storm; an undernourished harp seal pup.
SCUDDY - Of the weather, uncertain, liable to sudden scuds or gusts of wind;
misty, showery.
SCULP - The skin of a harp or hooded seal with the blubber attached.
SCULPIN, PIG-FISH or PLUG-EYE - A very ugly scavenger fish.
SCUTTERS - Diarrhoea.
SEAL DOG - iron hook used with rope or chain to hoist seal pelts and carcasses
aboard vessel.
SEINE - A large vertical net placed in position around a school of fish, the
'foots' drawn together to form a bag, and hauled at sea or in shallow water near
the shore.
SHEILA - In folk legend, the wife, sister, housekeeper, or acquaintance of St.
Patrick.
SHEILA'S BRUSH - Fierce storm and heavy snowfall about the 18th of March.
SHIMMICK - A despised person; a dissembler.
SHUCK - A call to pigs repeated quickly and often.
SILE, SWOIL, SWALE, SOIL or SWILE - A North Atlantic Seal, especially harp or
hooded.
SILVER THAW or GLITTER - A condition of the weather in which freezing rain
deposits a coating of ice n exposed objects. (especially when the sun comes out
later)
SINKER or SUNKER - A rock hazardous to boats and vessels.
SINKS - The lead weights attached to the bottom of a fish-net.
SISH - A thin layer of ice newly formed on the surface of the sea.
SISH OVER - Of the surface of a body of water, to form a thin layer of ice.
SLACK-FISTED - Lazy, without ambition.
SLAWMEEN - Dirty, untidy person.
SLEVEEN - A sly deceitful man; a mean fellow; rascal; mischievous child.
SLINGER - An idler; truant from work.
SNAKE - Rock gunnel or Tansy; radiated shanny (both small elongated species of
salt-water fish).
SNOTTY VAR - Balsam fir with clotted resin on the bark.
SOIL, SWOIL, SWALE, SWILE or SILE - A North Atlantic Seal, especially harp or
hooded.
SPANTICKLE or PRICKLY - Any of a variety of sticklebacks (tiny freshwater fish).
SPIRKING - A strip of wood covering the space between the floor-board of a boat
and the inside plank at the water line.
SPREAD or SPREADER - To stretch an animal skin on a wooden frame to dry; a pole
used on a small sailing craft as a substitute for a gaff or boom.
SPRUCE BEER - Fermented drink made from an infusion of the boughs and buds of
the black spruce.
STAG - A submerged rock.
STAKE - To drive stakes through a beaver house to trap the animal.
STANCHION - The rib or frame on the inside of a dory.
STUDDLE - One of the vertical timbers in the frame of a boat.
SUANT - Of a curve, especially in the hull of a vessel, smooth, graceful, with a
correct sheer.
SUNKER or SINKER - A rock hazardous to boats and vessels.
SWAMP - A small, flat-bottomed row-boat; also FLAT.
SWILE, SWOIL, SWALE, SOIL or SILE - A North Atlantic Seal, especially harp or
hooded.
SWISH - Liquor produced by pouring water into a recently emptied rum barrel.
SWITCHEL - A drink of molasses and water often seasoned with vinegar and ginger.
SWITCHEL TEA - Tea, especially that once drunk by fishermen and sealers at sea.
SWOIL, SWILE, SWALE, SOIL or SILE - A North Atlantic Seal, especially harp or
hooded.
SYRUP - A sweet, fruit-flavoured commercial cordial; a drink prepared from such
a cordial diluted with water.
TABBY - A small floating ice pan in boys' sport of jumping across the ice or
'copying'; To jump from one floating ice pan to another.
TAIL or TEEL - To bait or set a trap or snare; to place a weapon so that game is
shot when the device is triggered.
TALAMH AN EISC - Irish for Newfoundland, literally translated means "land of the
fish" (Apparently the only place-name outside of Ireland which is not a simple
literal translation.)
TEA-FLOWER or PITNAGEN - Purple-stemmed aster (dried roots sometimes used with
dried potato peels to make an ersatz tobacco).
TEAK - One of the elaborately dressed pranksters who go about during Christmas
holidays. (Derived from Irish name Teague.)
TEAK DAY - Old Christmas Day, January 6th, on which certain mummers customarily
appear. If you didn't wear a green ribbon you got a crack with stick!
TEEL or TAIL - To bait or set a trap or snare; to place a weapon so that game is
shot when the device is triggered.
THREE LEG - Uncompleted mesh of a fish-net, having three corner knots and one
loose strand of twine.
TIB'S EVE - The day before Christmas Eve (today!); also, a day that will never
come.
TIDDLE - To strike, hook, or tip into the air the short stick in the game of
tiddly.
TIDDLY - A children's game in which a stick, balanced on a rock or over a hole,
is hooked or flicked into the air and struck with another.
TIDDLY STICK - Either of the two sticks, but especially the short one, used in
the game of tiddly.
TIME - A party or celebration, especially a communal gathering with dancing /
entertainment.
TRAP - A type of fixed fishing-gear used in inshore waters, box-shaped, with a
length of net stretching from shore to entrance through which migrating cod
enter and are trapped.
TRAP SKIFF - A large undecked fishing boat, propelled by oar, small sail or
engine and used in the coastal fishery to set and haul nets, especially cod
traps.
TUCK - One of the lines drawn tight in a cast-net when catching caplin.
TURR - Probably imitative of the earlier name murre and the bird's note. One of
several sea-birds hunted for food: Atlantic common murre, thick-billed murre.
TUTTLE LINE - A length of line forming part of a cast-net and and used to draw
the tucks together, closing the net.
TWINE - Hemp, cotton, or nylon thread, varying in the number of its twisted
strands, used in the making of fish-nets.
VAMP - Short, thick woolen oversock worn in boots to prevent chafing or around
the house as a slipper; bottom of a sock.
VAR - Balsam fir.
WABBLE or WOBBLE - Red-throated loon.
WAGEL - Great black-backed gull in its immature state.
WAGTAIL - Spotted sandpiper.
WALL - Either of two long vertical sections of netting in the box-shaped
cod-trap; side.
WHEY-BELLIES, CLEAR AIRS, DADYEENS, YELLOW-BELLIES or DOONES - Irish factions in
St. John's in the early 1800s. Respectively from Cork, Tipperary, Waterford,
Wexford, and Kilkenny. The first three allied against the second two.
WHITE MOUTH - Disease in which the mouth and lips have white flecks; thrush.
WITCH-HAZEL - Yellow or grey birch.
WOBBLE or WABBLE - Red-throated loon.
YAFFLE - An armful (i.e. of salt-cod, firewood); a load.
YELLOW-BELLIES, WHEY-BELLIES, CLEAR AIRS, DADYEENS or DOONES - Irish factions in
St. John's in the early 1800s. Respectively from Cork, Tipperary, Waterford,
Wexford, and Kilkenny. The first three allied against the second two.
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Labels: dictionary, goofy newfie, humor, humour, newfie, Newfie English Dictionary, newfie joke, newfie picture, newfiejokes, words
Thursday, October 25, 2007
First Newfie in Toronto
Q: How did the first Newfie get to Toronto?
A: A bunch of Newfies were playing hockey on the frozen-over Gulf of St. Lawrence, and one guy got a breakaway.
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Labels: art, artist, artsspot, drawing, funny joke, graham matthews, humor, newfiejokes, portrait, portraits, sketch, Toronto
Friday, September 21, 2007
Newfie Jokes
Ere's a couple sent in by Laura S. - Tanks Laura
How did the Newfie break his arm while raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree!
What happened to the Newfie when he tried to blow up the bus?
He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe!
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Labels: funny joke, hilarious, humor, newfie, newfie joke, newfoundland
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Newfie and Viagra
A Newfoundland woman of a certain age, visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's sex drive.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, no, doctor, I couldn't do dat," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin.
"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh Jaysus Mary and Joseph, doctor, twas horrid. Just terrible!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did like you said and slipped it into his coffee, lard. De effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging something fierce! With one swoop of his arm he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and then, Lard tunder and Jaysus, didn't he take me right then and there, making wild,mad passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!"
"Why so terrible?", asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex was not good?"
"No, no, no, Doctor. The sex was fine. Indeed, 'twas the best sex I had in 25 years. But, oh me son, I'll never be able to show me face in Tim Horton's ever again!".........
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Labels: funny, funny joke, funny pic, funny picture, goofy newfie, hilarious, humor, humour, laugh, newfie joke, newfoundland, viagra
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