Newfie Jokes! and all da' FUNNIEST pictures!: The BEST Comebacks

Monday, November 14, 2011

The BEST Comebacks - Dating Jokes

Great comebacks for propositions .... for the female readers!

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"

Man: "Haven't I seen you some place before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Another hilarious funny jokes website:

Worlds Funniest Pictures by Newfie Jokes

0 comments:

How"s everyting" goin"?

...You arite er' wa'?

... Wat are ya at, by'???
How's da missus?

Anyway, lets get to talkin' aboot what this place is fer. This spot is spose to be the hugest online conglomeration (big word fer me) of Newfie Jokes in da' ole universe. Might not be yit, but we're gitten' there.

That's why we need your help.

We wants Newfs frum all over the ole planet to come right on over...(don't be slow about it now)We need all the Newfie jokes and funny Newfie pictures we can lay a hold of. We'll post em all on ere fer all da mainlanders to see.

We're Newfs and wer' proud of it, id'n we? Let's show em dat, and da fact that we're not afraid to poke a little fun at ourselves.

Newfoundland Survival Kit

If you are considering a visit to Canada's youngest province, here are a few survial tips:

a) Memorize all of the jokes at this blog. Every Newfoundlander will be impressed that you have taken the time to learn about our culture and can quote these jokes verbatum.

b) Always refer to a Newfoundlander as "Newfie", otherwise you will be considered snobbish.

c) Until you are more familiar with Newfoundland and it's history stick to safe topics when talking to Newfoundladers. A good opening line might be: "I hear unemployment is high in Newfoundland" or "My brother Jack works with a Newfoundlander in Brooks Alberta".

d) Learn how to pronounce Newfoundland. Many Canadians pronounce Newfoundland as "Newf-And-Land", sort of like Understand. This won't get you many friends. The correct pronunciation is "New-Fun-Lin". If you remember any of these tips, make sure it is this one.

e) Don't visit a bar on Monday evening, it will be empty as everyone will be at home watching "This Hour Has 22 Minutes". Also look through the TV Guide to see if "Land and Sea" is on, another good time to stay at home.

f) If you do visit a night club be sure to ask for Screech. You will insult the bartender by asking for anything else. Newfoundlanders are like the Scots when it comes to their national drink. It's a fact the average Newfoundlander drinks Screech with every meal.

g) If you don't get to visit Newfoundland, but meet a Newfoundlander during your visit to Toronto, remember to compliment him/her on the province. A good example would be: "Your from Newfoundland, I love the Maritimes, I visited Nova Scotia two years ago".

Newfie Jokes in Newfie Slang!

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Monday, November 14, 2011

The BEST Comebacks - Dating Jokes

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