Test for Fortune - Funny Newfie Joke

A Newfie saw an ad in the newspaper that said; "Pass test and inherit my fortune."

He went to the address the paper gave.
And when he got there, he was greeted, and the test was explained.
The old man, who was giving his fortune away, said; "So you want my fortune.
Well all you have to do is preform three tasks.

First. Go into room #1, drink the keg of rum that is inside, then go into the second room and rustle the bear inside to the ground. After that, go into the third room and take the fur coat off the old lady inside it."

The Newfie said; "Ok, sounds easy."

So the Newfie went in the first room and drank the rum, no problem.

Then he entered the second room, but an hour later, still didn't come out.

The old man started to worry, so he was just about to open the door, when the Newfie opened it, and walked out with fur in both of his hands.

Breathing hard, he said; "I had a hard time finding the zipper."

Winter Approaches - Even the Geese Know it!

Yes, the days are getting colder. Frosty mornings and colorful trees are plain signs that the winter is fast approaching! Oh yeah, this is another good sign, right here! The geese are bundling up for a long, cold winter too!

Smile! - Funny Newfie Joke!

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.

“Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner. “This is the most unusual one. Jethro, 30, from Newfoundland, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought he was having his picture taken.”

... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever

Biblical Quotations

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners in Grand Bank. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote

"Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message,

"Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."

One Smart Newfie Logger - Har, Har - Funny!

Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job.

He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an 'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone. But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree.

"See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains."
The Newfie promptly answers, "It's a Sitka spruce and contains 383 board feet of lumber."

The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger door window. and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class.
"It's a Douglas fir and has 690 board feet," says the Newfie.

Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has answered quickly and got the answers right without even using a calculator! One more test. They drive a little farther down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road through his driver side window.
"And what about that one?"
Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, "A cedar, 242 board feet."

The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office. He's a little ticked off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he. As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks the Newfie to step outside.

He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there. I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree."
The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot! How does he know which is the front of the tree?"

When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk. He runs back to the foreman and hands him the chalk.
"That is the front of the tree," the Newfie states.

The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the world do you know that's the front of the tree?"

The Newfie looks down at this feet, while moving the toe of his left boot clockwise in the gravel, replies, "Cuz someone took a crap behind it."

He got the job...


... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever

Showing A Horse - LOL - This One's Pretty Funny

There was a guy he walked into this bar. On the door it read "If you can make my horse laugh then I will give you $50".

So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went out in the back alley and came back and the horse was laughing. So the bar tender said a deal is a deal and gave him his $50.

Then about three months later the same guy came back into this bar and say a sign on the door it read: If you can make my horse cry then I will give you $50.

So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went in to the back alley and made the horse cry. He came back in and the bar tender said a deal is a deal but first tell me how you hade my horse laugh and cry. He said to make him laugh I told him mine is bigger than his. To make him cry I showed him!

Couple of good newfie jokes

Its ben' a while since I've had a chance to post some good Newfoundland jokes on here.

Ere's a couple of real funny ones to make up fer lost time!

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Newfies Make Good Astronauts, eh!

Q: Why do Newfies make good astronauts?

A: They took up space in school.

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Did you hear about the Newfie who was ecstatic
that he finished a jigsaw puzzle in 87 days?

On the box it said three to five years.

Funny Newfoundland Joke - Fascinate or Fasten Eight?

There were three newfies interviewing for the same job.

They had scheduled appointments one after the other.

The first Newfie was called into the office, and was told that all he had to do was answer a skill testing question.

So he said; "ok, what is it?"

The interviewer said; "I would like you to make a question using the word 'sweater'."

The Newfie said "ok, my mother........knitted me...... a nice sweater."

The interviewer said "Very good. I will get back to you."

As the Newfie was leaving he was told to send the next Newfie in.

So, when they met, the second Newfie asked the first one what he had to do.

So the first one said that he had to make a sentence using the word "sweater" in it.

So, the second the Newfie walked into the interviewing room, he said; "My mother knitted me a nice sweater!"

The interviewer was suspicious, so when the third Newfie came in he said; "I would like you to make a sentence using the word 'fascinate'."

He said; "My mother.....knitted me a nice sweater........ with ten buttons.....but I can only fasten eight.

... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever

Newfie Joke - Dead Rabbit

A Mainlander was driving down the highway and he ran over a rabbit. Wondering what had happened, he stopped his car and got out to look. As he is standing there, looking at the dead rabbit, a Newfie drives by. The Newfie, wondering if he can help, stops and asks the Mainlander what's up.

Mainlander I'm here visiting your fair province and I seem to have killed one of your land rodents.

Newfie looks down and sees the dead rabbit.

Newfie No problem, b'y. Hang'er down a few.

Newfie goes to his truck and returns with an aerosol spray can. He empties the spray over the rabbit. He then chucks the empty can into the ditch and sez There ya go, me son. Enjoy yer stay. He gets in his truck and is gone.

The rabbit gets up, hops 10 feet towards the woods, turns around and waves, hops 10 feet, turns around and waves, hops 10 feet and he's gone into the woods.

The Mainlander was astounded!! Wondering what the Newfie did, he got the can out of the ditch and read the label, which said Hair spray. Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave.

Newfie Follower

A Newfie was hired on in a warehouse in Toronto. On his first day on the job he was approached by a Caper. "Hi Newf" the Caper said, want me to show you how to get the day off? The Newf was all ears.
"Sure," he said.

With that the Caper pushed a ladder against the wall and climbed to the top, grabbed a rafter, shimmied to the middle of the room and hung there till the foreman came along.

The foreman spotted the guy hanging from the ceiling and asked what he was doing. The Caper replied "hey I'm a light bulb, you need me".
The foreman shook his head and shouted. "Come down from there and go home for the day. Get a good rest and come back tomorrow".
The Caper climbed down and headed for the door.
The Newfie followed behind him.

"Hey" the foreman shouted, "Where do you think you're going Newf?"
The Newf replied, "I ain't working in the dark".

Newfie Horse

A feller from St. John's drove his car into a ditch out around da bay. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"

Newfie Job Interview

A Newfie went into the fish market to apply for a job.

The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that newf", so he decided to set a test for the Newfie hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
Newfie says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees.
The boss says, "What in the world is that?"
Newfie says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine."
"Fair enough" says the boss.

"Second question, same rules, but represent 99".
Newfie stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree.
"Der ya go bye," he says.
The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
Newfie answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat 99."

The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the newf so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100."
Newfie stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base
of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir -100."
The boss looks at Newfie's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time."
He then tells Newfie, "Go on, Newfie, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100."
Newfie leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start me job?"

... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever

Signs You Might Be a Newfie Jedi

You might be a Newfie Jedi if.....
------------------------------------------------

1.You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be witt ya by*'."

2. Your Jedi robe is made of seal skin.

3. You have ever used your light saber to quarter a moose.

4. Both wings of your X-Wing are done over with sheet metal and rivets and are covered with polybond.

5. You have ever eaten bottled Ewok.

6. You have ever used a land-speeder to get away from wildlife officers.

7. The best part of spending time on Dagobah is the great weather.

8. Even CP-3O cannot understand what you are saying.

9. You have used Jedi mind tricks to help you drag off someone from the Sundance (Bar on George Street) and Breezeway (University Bar).

10. You have ever used the force to convince a Human Resources Canada officer to give you unemployment insurance checks.

11. Your father has ever said to you, "Come on by' son, come on over 'ere to the dark side and have a Black Horse (Newfoundland brewed beer) witt yer old man."

12. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to scare off mosquitoes on May 24 weekend.

13. You have ever used the Millennium Falcon to smuggle booze and cigarettes from St. Pierre (Island belonging to France just of southern nf coast).

14. You have a Newfoundland dog painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

15. You think Andy Wells (St. John's mayor) and Brian Tobin (nf premier) are part of the dark side of the force.

16. You have ever fantasized about Danielle House wearing her hair like Princess Leia.+

17. You have a trailer hitch on the back of your land speeder for hauling your trailer to gravel pits.

18. Chewbacca is the lead of your dog sled team.

19. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with snowmobile skis.

20. You were the only person drinking Newfie Screech during the cantina scene.

21. If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... tell me what the hell your mother's getting on with by'?!"

Newfie BRAIN -- LOL!!!

An Albertan decided he wanted to be a Newfie. So he went to a neurosurgeon and asked, “Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?”

“Sure, its' easy,” replied the neurosurgeon. “All I have to do is cut out one-third of your brain. Then you'll be a Newfie.”

The Albertan was very pleased and immediately underwent the operation. However, the surgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting out one-third of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out two-thirds of the patient's brain.

The neurosurgeon was terribly remorseful. He waited impatiently at the patient's bedside as the patient recovered from the anaesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him, “I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out one-third of your brain, I accidentally cut out two-thirds of your brain.”

The patient replied, “Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?”

Half-Way Poles - Newfie Joke!

There were two teams of telephone pole installers.

A team of Americans and a team of Newfies.

Their supervisor went up to them and said, “I’m sorry to say this, but we’ve had budget cuts and one team has to go. For the next three days we’re going to have a contest. The team that installs the most poles stays and the other one goes.”

At the end of the first day both teams went to their supervisor and reported their numbers. The American team put in 20 and the Newfies, 15.

At the end of the second day the Americans had put in 45 and the Newfies had only put in 30.

On the third and final day the Americans put in 50 poles and the Newfies got 35 in.

Their supervisor went up to them and said, “Well I’m sorry to be the one to do this but the American team got more poles in so you Newfies have to go.” The Newfies looked very upset and cheated and one of them said, “No fair, they were only putting their poles in half way!”

True Story !

George Phillips of Grand Falls, NFLD was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police and told them that there were burglars in his shed.

The officer asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no".

The officer replied that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an armed response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence.

Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Newfie Pizza - Anudder Funny One!

Q: A Newfie ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut in six or twelve pieces.

A: "Six, please, I could never eat twelve pieces," replied the Newfie.


... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever

Ice Fishing

Did you hear about the Newfie who went ice fishing?
He caught fifty pounds of ice and his wife drowned trying to cook.

How many Newfies does it take to go ice fishing?
Four. One to cut a hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

Smile! - Another One of Those SILLY Newfie Jokes!

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.

“Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner. “This is the most unusual one. Jethro, 30, from Newfoundland, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought he was having his picture taken.”

I Follow Tracks... I Get Hit By Train...

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Newfie had decided to go on a hunting trip and were staying in a cabin in the woods.
They decided to go hunting one at a time, while the other two stayed and guarded the cabin.
The Irishman goes out first and comes back with a fox.
He says, very simply, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I catch fox.".
Then the Englishman goes out and comes back with a rabbit.
He says, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I catch rabbit.".
Then it was the Newfie's turn.
He goes out and comes back limping and badly beaten up.
He says, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I get hit by train."

First Newf in Toronto - HaHaHa!!!

Q: How did the first Newfie get to Toronto?

A: A bunch of Newfies were playing hockey on the frozen-over Gulf of St. Lawrence, and one guy got a breakaway.

You know your from Newfoundland when....

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- The mosquitoes have landing lights.
- You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
- You have 10 favourite recipes for bottled moose.
- Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
- You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
- You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local softball scores.
- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- You think the start of salmon fishing season is a national holiday.
- You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You find -40C a little nippy.
- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
- You can play road hockey on skates.
- You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
- The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
- You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Newfie friends.

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Ten Dollars Worth

Walking up to a fruit orchard stand, the Newfie asked, “How much do you charge for apples?”

“All you can pick for five bucks.”

“OK,” said the Newfie, reaching into his pocket, “I'll take ten dollars worth.”

Showing A Horse - Funny Newfie Joke

There was a guy he walked into this bar. On the door it read "If you can make my horse laugh then I will give you $50".

So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went out in the back alley and came back and the horse was laughing. So the bar tender said a deal is a deal and gave him his $50.

Then about three months later the same guy came back into this bar and say a sign on the door it read: If you can make my horse cry then I will give you $50.

So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went in to the back alley and made the horse cry. He came back in and the bar tender said a deal is a deal but first tell me how you hade my horse laugh and cry. He said to make him laugh I told him mine is bigger than his. To make him cry I showed him!

Cross-Eyed Bull - Newfie Vet's "Proctocol" Remedy

Garge owned the largest bull in Newfoundland, weighing over 3,800 pounds. The bull was a very majestic animal and was the talk of the town. Only problem was that the bull was cross-eyed and kept stumbling into things.

Garge called the town veterinarian and asked him to come out and see if something could be done to improve the bull's eyesight. The next morning, the vet showed up with a 5-foot piece of rubber hose.

"What are you gonna do with that piece of hose, Doc," asked Garge.
The vet replied, "You tie up that bull to the fence, then I think I can fix your problem".

After the bull was tied up, the vet went to the back of the bull and shoved one end of the hose up the bull's rear end. Then he proceeded to blow into the other end of the hose. Watching from the front, Garge saw the bull's eyes go bug-eyed and almost straighten out, but not quite.

After several vain attempts, Garge said, "Let me try, Doc". Then Garge pulled the hose out of the bull, and stuck the other end of the hose in the bull.

The vet shouted, "Why'd you do that?"

Garge replied, "You don't think I'm gonna put my mouth on the end you had your mouth on, do you?"

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Cheer UP!!! -- LoL - This is Funny!

[Two old Newfie friends meet at the mall…]

NEWF: “Why do you look so sad?”
Jack: “I’ve just come from the doctor. I not only have heart trouble, but I also have arthritis, high blood pressure, diabetes and a brain tumor. Any day now, I’m likely to die.”
NEWF: “It could be worse.”

Jack: “That’s what you think. My bank tells me they are going to foreclose on my mortgage. I’m bankrupt – broke.”
NEWF: “It could be worse.”

Jack: “Not only that, but my wife is suing me for divorce and intends to take the children.”
NEWF: “Well, it could be worse.”

Jack: “How could it be worse – there’s no way it could be worse…”
NEWF: “It could be me!”

Newfie Follower - Anudder Newfoundland Joke

A Newfie was hired on in a warehouse in Toronto. On his first day on the job he was approached by a Caper. "Hi Newf" the Caper said, want me to show you how to get the day off? The Newf was all ears.
"Sure," he said.

With that the Caper pushed a ladder against the wall and climbed to the top, grabbed a rafter, shimmied to the middle of the room and hung there till the foreman came along.

The foreman spotted the guy hanging from the ceiling and asked what he was doing. The Caper replied "hey I'm a light bulb, you need me".
The foreman shook his head and shouted. "Come down from there and go home for the day. Get a good rest and come back tomorrow".
The Caper climbed down and headed for the door.
The Newfie followed behind him.

"Hey" the foreman shouted, "Where do you think you're going Newf?"
The Newf replied, "I ain't working in the dark".

Dear Garge Letter - Anudder NEWFIE Joke Fer Yas!

A young Newfoundland girl, on a year’s training course in South Africa, recently received a "Dear Garge" letter from her boyfriend back home in St. John's. It read as follows:

Dear Mary,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love,
Garge

Upset, Mary asked her colleagues for any snapshots they could spare of their boyfriends, brothers, ex-boyfriends, uncles, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of John, Mary included all the other pictures she had collected from her buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope...along with this note:

Dear Garge,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care,
Mary

Lunch Box - Funny Newf Joke

There once was three people, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a newfie. they were construction people and were working on a building 80m high. They always had lunch on top of the building. So the Italian opens up his lunch and gets a tuna sandwich. He says, " Oh I hate tuna sandwiches, If I get a tuna sandwich again tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this building" Then the French opens up his lunch and gets a bologna sandwich. He says "If I get a bologna sandwich again, I'm going to jump off this building" Then the newfie opens up his lunch and gets a ham sandwich. He says " If I gets another ham sandwich, I'm wit you two." So the next day, the Italian gets a tuna sandwich and jumps off the building. The French gets a bologna sandwich and the newfie gets a ham sandwich and they both jump off the building. Later on, at there funeral the French and Italians wife's were crying and say" If they didn't like that kind of sandwich, they could have told us, but the Newfieswife wasn't crying, she was laughing . The Italian and French's wife ask the Newfies wife why she isn't sad at all. She says, "Why, he makes his own!

Goofy Newfie’s BIG Nickel - Newfie Joke!

A family moved from St. John’s, Newfoundland to Toronto. The little boy in the family began attending the local school and was soon the butt of joe-ks for kids who picked on him for being a “goofy Newfie.”

One boy would show him a nickel and a dime, and ask him if he wanted the BIG nickel, or the little dime. The little boy would always take the BIG nickel, to the mirth of the other kids.

A teacher watched this happen a couple of times, and then, in exasperation, took the little boy aside. “Surely,” she said, “you know the difference in value between a nickel and a dime. Why do you let them do that to you?”

“Sure I know the difference,” the boy said. “But if I ever take that dime, they’re going to stop giving me nickels.”

Bank Robbery on Crutches and Mainland Tourist Joke

A mainland tourist, from "up along", chatting with an elder Newfoundland Fisherman, asked him if he had any sons to help him. The fisherman replied "Yes Sir, I have two living
and one in Toronto."

... more funny jokes, humor and funny pictures at Funniest Jokes Ever

Mouse Calibration - This is Hilarious!

MOUSE CALIBRATION

This really works.
Is your mouse calibrated?
You should do this every few days. More often if you spend a lot of time on the computer. I was shocked to see that this works!
To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the Y below. Then drag the Y toward the g If it doesn't work, you might want to clean your mouse.
Y ou dumb ass. You'll believe g anythin g
I'M SURE YOU WILL SEND THIS ALONG TO YOUR FRIENDS

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Newfie 911 - Funny Newfoundland Joke

NEWFIE 911

Two Newfie buddies are walking home from the local pub when one of them drops to the side walk holding his chest. His budy quickly grabs the cell phone and dials 9-1-1.The Operator immediately asks: 'What is the emergency and where are you?'The Newfie buddy replies:' I don't know what happened, we were walkinghome on Eucalyptus street and my friend grabbed his chest and fell down!'

The operator asked: 'How do you spell the name of the street?' The phone seemed to go dead. The operator now really concerned kept shouting because she could hear him panting! Finally he came back on the line and said: 'I dragged him over to Oak street, that's O-A-K.'

Ice Fishing Joke

How many Newfies does it take to go ice fishing?

Four. One to cut a hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.