Haggler

Henry and Mike decide to leave Newfoundland and fly to Ontario. Before they leave, Henry's dad gives them a bit of advice: “You watch out for those Toronto cab drivers. If you give 'em an inch, they'll take a yard. They'll rob you blind. There's nothing you can do - except don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle.”

At the airport in Toronto they hail a cab to take them to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, “That'll be twenty dollars, lads.”

“Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me,”says Henry.

“And you'll only get fifteen from me too,” adds Mike.

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Har !!!! Har!!!! Har!!!!

Manhole Counter!

A Newfie is jumping up and down on a manhole cover on Robson Street in Vancouver, shouting, “Forty-two, forty-two!” Along comes a Vancouverite who asks him what he's doing. The Newfie says that it's a great sport in Corner Brook to jump up and down on a manhole cover and shout, “Forty-two, forty-two!" and that the Vancouverite should try it.

After much persuasion, the Vancouverite gives in and does so, but without much enthusiasm.

“Put your heart into it,” the Newfie encourages him. “Leap high, yell it loud.”

The Vancouverite shrugs, leaps twelve feet in the air, and really screams, “Forty-two, forty-two!”

Suddenly the Newfie snatches away the manhole cover and the Vancouverite drops down the manhole and disappears in the darkness. The Newfie replaces the cover and again starts jumping up and down on it, shouting, “Forty-three, forty-three!”

First Newfie in Toronto

Q: How did the first Newfie get to Toronto?

A: A bunch of Newfies were playing hockey on the frozen-over Gulf of St. Lawrence, and one guy got a breakaway.

Apples

Walking up to a fruit orchard stand, the Newfie asked, “How much do you charge for apples?”

“All you can pick for five bucks.”

“OK,” said the Newfie, reaching into his pocket, “I'll take ten dollars worth.”

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har har har!!! Now dats' funny!!

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I'm usually blogging at a different website dees' days, but I'm still not fergetten' abboot dis' one.

Go on over to ArtsSpot.com now and check it out.

The Execution

A Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander are involved in a grisly crime and are all sentenced to death. The executioner told them that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.

Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.

The American was afraid of needles and didn’t want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair.

He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free.

They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.

The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and didn’t want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair.

Once again, the chair didn’t work and he was free.

Next it was the Newfoundlander’s turn to pick how he was to be executed.

He said "I'm afraid of needles, the electric chair won't work so you're going to have to hang me".