Newfie Jokes in Newfie Slang!

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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Manhole Counter - Anudder Funny One Fer Ya's

A Newfie is jumping up and down on a manhole cover on Robson Street in Vancouver, shouting, “Forty-two, forty-two!” Along comes a Vancouverite who asks him what he's doing. The Newfie says that it's a great sport in Corner Brook to jump up and down on a manhole cover and shout, “Forty-two, forty-two!" and that the Vancouverite should try it.

After much persuasion, the Vancouverite gives in and does so, but without much enthusiasm.

“Put your heart into it,” the Newfie encourages him. “Leap high, yell it loud.”

The Vancouverite shrugs, leaps twelve feet in the air, and really screams, “Forty-two, forty-two!”

Suddenly the Newfie snatches away the manhole cover and the Vancouverite drops down the manhole and disappears in the darkness. The Newfie replaces the cover and again starts jumping up and down on it, shouting, “Forty-three, forty-three!”

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Funny Polar Bear Picture - Watch For Ice




How do you figure this polar bear would know to be careful with the sign pointing in that direction? Well, even if it was... polar bears can't read anyway.. lol

This picture of the polar bear slipping on the ice is very funny just the same.

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Smart Logger - Funny Newfie Joke

Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job.

He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an 'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone. But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree.

"See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains."
The Newfie promptly answers, "It's a Sitka spruce and contains 383 board feet of lumber."

The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger door window. and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class.
"It's a Douglas fir and has 690 board feet," says the Newfie.

Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has answered quickly and got the answers right without even using a calculator! One more test. They drive a little farther down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road through his driver side window.
"And what about that one?"
Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, "A cedar, 242 board feet."

The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office. He's a little ticked off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he. As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks the Newfie to step outside.

He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there. I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree."
The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot! How does he know which is the front of the tree?"

When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk. He runs back to the foreman and hands him the chalk.
"That is the front of the tree," the Newfie states.

The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the world do you know that's the front of the tree?"

The Newfie looks down at this feet, while moving the toe of his left boot clockwise in the gravel, replies, "Cuz someone took a crap behind it."

He got the job...



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